


enlightenment

by extasiswings



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Episode Tag: 3x15, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Getting Together, M/M, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:33:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23886769
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/extasiswings/pseuds/extasiswings
Summary: For the prompt: "Stay close to the ones who feel like sunlight."
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 386





	enlightenment

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on tumblr, finally cross-posting here.

Eddie spends the night in the hospital getting IVs of fluids, covered in warming blankets. It helps some—he stops shivering, stops feeling like death warmed over—but he sleeps in fits and starts, waking up each time gasping for air. His mind is a roulette wheel of bad memories—he’s back in the war, back in the well, drowning, drowning, drowning, and it doesn’t want to stop.

But every time he wakes up, Buck is there, gently pulling Eddie’s hand away from clutching at his chest, rubbing circles into Eddie’s palm until he remembers where he is, what year it is, that he’s alive.

“Christopher?” Eddie always asks.

“Carla is staying the night with him,” Buck always reminds him, no matter how many times he asks. 

“You should go home,” Eddie suggests once. “Get some real sleep. You were out there all day too.”

Buck starts shaking his head before Eddie even finishes speaking and squeezes his hand.

“I’m fine right here.”

And for some reason, that feels right. 

Another time, a different question comes to mind.

“Are you pissed at me? For cutting the cable?”

Buck goes still for a moment, then leans back in his chair as he blows out a breath. He doesn’t let go of Eddie’s hand. Eddie isn’t even sure whether he realizes he’s still holding it, it’s been so long.

He doesn’t mind.

“I understand why you did it,” Buck says. “But you can’t just—I was your lifeline, Eddie. I was holding you in my hands and then I wasn’t. And when that rig fell…” He breaks off, swallowing hard.

There’s something oddly clarifying about near-death experiences. Not that Eddie would recommend them. But as he looks at Buck, even washed out in the hospital lights, as he thinks about how warm Buck’s hand feels in his, as he remembers drowning and breathing again only to fall into Buck’s arms—well. Something clicks into place that he hadn’t quite realized before.

“You still were,” Eddie replies quietly. “I almost gave up down there. But then I thought about the team. And I thought about Christopher. And I thought about you. And I pulled myself out.”

Buck laughs wetly. “Well, that’s just unfair. Not sure what I’m supposed to say to that.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” Eddie says. “Just…I’m always going to fight to come back to you. You can count on that.”

Buck goes still again, staring with wide eyes. He opens his mouth and closes it, wets his lips, looks away and then back again.

“That sounds like a declaration,” he replies.

Eddie shrugs, even as the movement pulls at his sore muscles and makes him wince. “It is.”

“Eddie…”

“You don’t have to say anything,” he repeats. “I don’t expect you to feel the same or—I just wanted to be honest. Because Christopher is the most important thing in my life, he is the light that brought me back after the war when I was drowning in a whole different way. But I think…you saved us both. And this thing between us, whatever it is—”

“Shut up,” Buck interrupts, and it’s abrupt enough that Eddie does. Buck looks up to the ceiling for a moment like he’s praying for patience, and then mutters, “God, I swear, sometimes you’re so stupid.”

And before Eddie can say a word, he’s being kissed. 

It feels like sunlight.


End file.
